


Alone

by bisexualbarry



Series: olivarry week 2018 [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barry Allen Works For The SCPD, Bisexual Oliver Queen, Coming Out, Fluff, Gay Barry Allen, Growing Up, M/M, Olivarry Week 2018, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, i swear idk how to write a fic without angst lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 15:50:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15318891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualbarry/pseuds/bisexualbarry
Summary: I know you're dying to meet meBut I can just tell you thisBaby, as soon as you meet meYou'll wish that you never didAfter being adopted by the Lances, Barry isn't sure what he's supposed to do with his life. After learning his soulmate is his eldest sister's best friend, he's overjoyed. Oliver, however, doesn't seem to agree.Olivarry Week Day Three: Soulmate AU





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> [alone by halsey](https://youtu.be/2Qu2bsiE32Q)
> 
> if you didn't know this by now, i suck at summaries, LOL
> 
> the idea for barry being adopted by the lances isn't my own. i got it from another fic that i honestly can't remember the title of at the moment (EDIT: it’s Stand (you’re gonna run again) by road_of_ruin)
> 
> this one shot ran away from a bit, and im sorry it isn't really _that_ olivarry centered because, tbh, i was having too much fun ignoring canon and having barry grow up somewhere that wasn't with the wests
> 
> sorry for any and all errors. a lot of this was written late at night because i spent most of the day (i write these the day before they need to be up, lol) out of the house, so i really couldn't write
> 
> also big thank you to my best friend steph for always putting up with my when i write and hyping me up. i love you!!

If he was being honest with himself, Barry was convinced he would never be happy again.

Not everyone ended up with their soulmate, and that was just an unfortunate fact of life. But his parents were, and Barry had to watch as his dad was blamed for his mother's murder at the young age of eleven. Despite Barry's arguments that Henry couldn't have done it ("they were soulmates!"), it fell on deaf ears and his dad was carted away. A detective by the name of Joe West took him in for awhile, his own soulmate having died awhile ago when his daughter Iris was young. But Joe was already a single father, and Barry wouldn't be able to stay forever.

Barry knew what the town thought of him and his family, it was rather obvious. Joe and Henry talked over the details for awhile before Barry was officially put up for adoption. He stayed with Joe for as long as he could, but even being a detective, he couldn't put off the inevitable for forever. Luckily, though, Barry was adopted only four months after being put in an orphanage.

The family was settled in Starling City. They already had two daughters, but the parents wanted another child, and they figured it would be a good idea to adopt a child instead of conceiving another one. Barry cried for hours when he realised he wouldn't be in Central anymore. Away from his parents, away from Joe, and away from Iris. They lady who was handling his adoption promised the family was nice, and full of love. Barry was still in state of shock that his dad was even willing to go through with it as it was. He would always consider Henry his dad, no matter where he lived.

The trip to Starling had been a long one for Barry. Half the trip was spent sleeping. The other half was spent staring out the window at the passing scenery, and rubbing the part of his wrist that would reveal his soulmate's name on his sixteenth birthday. Barry didn't want to leave Central, but he had little choice in the matter. He hadn't spoken to any of them yet, but Ms. Janie, the lady handling all the legal matters, promised they were all excited to meet the soon to be thirteen year old.

As the train pulled into the station, Barry spotted a family of four waiting by one of the benches. The two daughters seemed to be bickering over something, and the dad just looked exhausted. The mother, however, seemed to be almost vibrating with excitement. For what, Barry had his suspicions of being, but he ignored it and hoped this strange family wasn't the one he had been adopted into.

Alas, Barry had followed Ms. Janie up to the family Barry had spotted, the bickering stopping and they all smiled warmly at the young boy. Barry hid a little behind Ms. Janie, wanting nothing more than to hop back on the train and run into his dad's arms. Even Joe would be better than being thrown into a family of strangers in a new town.

"Barry, this is the Lance family," Ms. Janie said kindly.

"Hi, Barry," the mom said, her smile never leaving her face. "I'm Dinah, and this is my husband, Quentin. And these are our daughters, Laurel and Sara."

"Hi," Barry managed quietly, not wanting to come off as rude. "I wanna go back to Central."

Dinah's smile dipped a little. "I know, sweetie. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your parents. We're going to try our best to make our house feel like home to you."

"Okay," Barry said, stepping into view more.

"I'll be back tomorrow to finish the paperwork," Ms. Janie said. "There are only a few last minute things to work out."

"Alright," Quentin replied, his voice gruff from what Barry assumed was lack of sleep. "C'mon, kids. We can stop at Big Belly Burger for dinner, if you'd like."

"Yes!" Sara cheered, running ahead of the group towards where Barry guessed was where the car was parked.

Ms. Janie had already disappeared into the crowd, Barry's stomach sinking at the realization. Dinah was waiting patiently for Barry, the other members of the family already gone towards the car.

"Sara's your age. Just turned thirteen in December," Dinah said as the two of them started walking, trying to start a conversation with the twelve year old to make him feel more at ease. "Laurel is going to be fifteen next month, and she's looking forward to start driving."

"I'm going to be thirteen in March," Barry replied, causing Dinah to smile a little.

"Are you excited? You're going to be a teenager." Dinah's words caused a small smile to find its way onto Barry's face.

"I wish my mom could me become a teenager," he whispered.

The rest of the walk was spent in a bit of awkward silence. Barry was moping, and Dinah just didn't know how to respond. When they reached the car, the others were already there waiting for them. Barry was a bit hesitant at first, but after putting his suitcase in the trunk, he quietly got into the spot behind the passenger seat. Sara was squished happily in the middle, talking a mile a minute, and Laurel was texting from the other side of her. Barry felt out of place in the family vehicle, but he didn't want to make things anymore awkward than he already had.

When they got to the house, Barry's had ketchup on his chin and he was giggling along to whatever joke Sara had just said. He was happier than before, but he still missed home. Still craved to get back to Central as soon as he possibly could. Both Dinah and Quentin seemed content that Barry was at least smiling, and Quentin helped bring Barry's stuff in while Dinah cleaned off Barry's face.

The room Barry was given was right across from Laurel's. Sara's was down the hallway a bit, separated from Barry's by a bathroom. Their rooms were on the second floor while the master bedroom and other rooms were downstairs. Normally, Barry would've scrunched his nose at the thought of having to share a bathroom with two girls, but he was too happy to not have to share a room with either of them to care too much.

As soon as he could, Barry closed himself off in his room. He could hear the chatter of his adoptive family members on the floor below, but Barry didn't feel like interacting with any of them. So far, he didn't mind them too much, but Barry still wished he could turn back time and stop whoever it was in his house on that night that killed his mother. All he wanted was to be left alone for the rest of the night.

**~*~**

Meeting his new sisters' friends had been something Barry hadn't really been anticipating. Sara brought over her friend Felicity Smoak one day and the three of them spent the rest of the evening messing around with the new chemistry set Barry had gotten for his thirteenth birthday. Laurel had a lot of friends, but her closest were Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen. The mere sight of Oliver had Barry blushing hotter than he ever thought possible. Sara had teased him for _days_ at how red his face got.

Both of the Lance sisters were well known in school, while Barry mainly kept to himself and his small group of friends. As close as Felicity and Sara were outside of school, they didn't often hang with the same people. Felicity didn't mind, and she hung around Barry while school was in session. Whenever he could, though, Barry liked to gravitate towards Oliver. The older male never seemed to care, and Barry preened under his attention.

Because of how much Barry liked being around Oliver, he end up quickly growing close to both Laurel and Tommy as well. Sara had various after school activities, so she was often busy. And the older kids always included Barry whenever he tended to tag along. Dinah and Quentin loved how much Barry was taking to his new life. He had his nights when he'd cry and wish he was back in Central yet, but those days were growing fewer and fewer. At least they let him visit his dad on his birthday, or his mom on hers.

The night before Barry's sixteenth birthday, Oliver invited Laurel, Sara, Tommy, and him all over. Oliver's younger sister Thea was at a friend's for the night, and his parents wouldn't be back home until late, so the house was all theirs.

"Barry, you're going to get your soulmate mark in the morning. Are you excited at all?" Laurel asked, rubbing her own where he knew Tommy's name was hidden under the sleeve of her sweater. Tommy didn't seem to know his name was there, but with the way he kept glancing towards Laurel, her name was his own wrist. He had never seen Oliver's, due to the man almost constantly keeping it covered, and it made him curious to know who the blond man's soulmate was. As desperate of a wish it was, Barry secretly hoped it was his name.

"Nervous," Barry admitted, cheeks growing a bit pink at the confession. "Also curious. Who's going to be stuck with me?" The joke was weak, and even he knew that.  More than anything, he just wished it wasn't a girl's name that was going to appear on his wrist. Ever since he was fourteen, he was fairly certain he was gay. During a whispered conversation one night when he snuck into Sara's room, she had told him she was bi, and would be happy with whoever was going to be on her wrist. She then let him talk out his own feelings and end up telling him that she would accept him no matter what. Ever since then, Barry had never officially come out to anyone, but he knew Sara at least knew about his feelings.

"Whoever is going to end up on your wrist, Barry, will be lucky," Sara spoke up. She gave him a soft look, which had Barry blushing and looking down at his lap.

"I just hope it's a boy's name," Barry whispered, staring at the empty stretch of skin. When he realised he had said that out loud, he froze.

"Well I hope it is, too," Laurel had said, giving Barry a gentle smile when he looked up. The hidden message in his words seemed to be heard by all the parties there.

"I demand Oliver show his after Barry gets his," Sara said, sitting up straighter. The empty can of pop in front of her tipping over at the action. "He knows all of ours, it's only fair."

Oliver let out a soft huff of laughter, his cheeks tinting pink. "It'll more than likely come out tomorrow no matter what, anyway."

Quirking an eyebrow, Barry watched Oliver a moment before finally looking away. The man had been getting weird the closer to Barry's birthday it got. Barry himself didn't think too much of it. A part of him just brushed it off as the eighteen year old getting nervous the closer to graduation it got.

The following morning, Barry was awake before anyone else. His wrist tingled with the sensation of the new soulmate mark, but he couldn't seem to find it in himself to look. Before anyone else could wake up, Barry slipped into the nearest bathroom and locked himself in. After sitting on the lid of the toilet for a good ten minutes, Barry finally found the courage to look at the name on his wrist.

_Oliver Queen_

Heart racing in his chest, Barry couldn't help the large grin that quickly spread on his face. Holding his arm close to his chest, he thanked all the lucky stars he had left for the incredible fortune. A sudden knock on the door startled Barry from his thoughts.

"Barry? Are you alright?" Laurel asked through the wood of the door.

"I'm...amazing," Barry responded, pulling his arm back to look at the black cursive loop of his soulmate's name on his arm.

Laughing, Laurel said, "That's great. Come on out, though. Sara's whining about how much she wants to see who's on your arm."

"I'm not whining!" came the faint sound of Sara's reply.

"I'll be out in a minute," Barry said. He could hear the sound of Laurel retreating and bit his bottom lip. Oliver, his soulmate, was sitting out there. The likelihood of his own name being on the man's wrist were slim to none, but Barry couldn't help the small ball of doubt settling in the pit of his stomach.

After making sure his hair didn't look like a complete rat's nest, Barry made his way out of the bathroom and into the large room where they all had crashed for the night. Sara was the first one up and she rushed over towards her adoptive brother. Before he could even say anything, she was yanking his arm out and staring at the name.

"Oliver Jonas Queen!" she yelled, glaring at the older man after seeing his name on Barry's wrist. "Barry's your soulmate and you've known for two years already!"

Oliver blushed as the other occupants in the room turned to look at him. "I didn't...I don't want a soulmate, is all."

Heart dropping, Barry gently moved his wrist out of Sara's grasp. "I should get home. I have an essay due by Monday," he muttered, not bothering to get dressed at all as he packed up his things.

"Barry..." Laurel said, her voice sounding sad. Barry couldn't look at any of them.

"Don't worry, it's fine. I've kind of gotten used to not being happy about things," Barry muttered. He slipped out the door before anyone could respond.

His house wasn't too far of a walk away, and Barry mind the time it gave him to think. As happy as Oliver seemed to be around him, it didn't necessarily mean he would be happy to have Barry as a soulmate.

It didn't make the rejection hurt any less, though.

**~*~**

The first time Barry called Quentin "dad" was about a week after Dinah left. Laurel was already out of the house, but Barry and Sara still had a year left of high school. Dinah didn't give much of a warning before she took off, and the flimsy excuse left Quentin devastated. Despite all the recent arguing, Quentin truly tried to make her happy. Their marriage had started dissolving when Barry was almost fifteen. Barry had found out, later, that adopting him had been their last attempt at staying together.

Walking into the master bedroom, Barry spotted Quentin sitting on the edge of the mattress facing away from the door, his head in his hands. Barry had always considered the man a strong figure in his life, rarely breaking down like he was currently. But Barry knew from experience showing weakness wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

He walked closer to the bed, the floor creaking under his weight. "Dad?" he asked softly. "Are you alright?"

Quentin's head snapped up, looking intently at Barry. Barry, for his part, kept looking down at his adoptive father in concern. "I'll be okay," Quentin finally managed.

Barry sat down next to him and laid his head on the man's shoulder. "I miss her, too," he said softly.

They sat like that for awhile until Sara came home. She sat on the other side of Quentin and the three of them didn't say anything.

**~*~**

Even though they never mentioned it, Barry was still hurt by Oliver's rejection. When Quentin had first found out about it, he had gotten angry. He didn't want any of his children to get rejected by their soulmates, only wanting them to be happy. Barry had managed to calm him down before he went storming out of the house, but he had carried a grudge against the teen ever since.

Even at the age of twenty, Barry didn't know how to deal with it. They all still hung out, but in the four years since it was revealed that Oliver and Barry had each other's names on their wrist, things could get awkward at times. Especially when Laurel and Tommy finally ended their dancing around each other and started dating. Or Felicity finding Ray. Even Oliver's sister finding her soulmate Roy. Whenever the topic was brought up, Oliver shut down, leaving Barry more hurt than before (which he didn't even think was possible).

Barry found himself still living at home as he attended college. Sara had moved to Keystone the first moment she could, but Laurel stayed in Starling. Tommy and Oliver were both taking up a business degree to work in their respective father's businesses. Oliver grumbled about it, but Tommy didn't seem to mind. Laurel sure approved.

(She didn't approve of their partying, though, but that was another topic.)

Felicity tried her best to cheer Barry up in those moments. She had the habit of babbling about anything and everything, and it never failed to cheer Barry up. If he was in a particularly good mood, he babbled right along with her. Still, though. Despite her best efforts, sometimes Barry just couldn't handle it.

He was just destined to never truly be happy.

Oliver, for his part, seemed to be doing okay. While he wasn't necessarily top of his class, he was still doing well enough to pass the courses and get the credits he needed. As he grew older, he seemed to enjoy his degree more and more. And Barry was definitely enjoying his own forensic degree.

If there was anything Barry couldn't seem to be able to do, it was date. Having the knowledge of being aware of who is soulmate is, and having almost daily contact with them (despite them not even wanting to pursue a relationship), was definitely weird. Not exactly unusual, but weird. There were tons of people who would never even met their soulmate, and there was, pining over his own. Oliver had no qualms about flaunting his dates, or even one night stands. Barry didn't have it in him to even kiss anyone that wasn't Oliver. He supposed he was a bit pathetic, in that sense. Keeping all his firsts for someone who didn't even want them.

But Barry couldn't help it.

By the time Barry had finished college, he was barely twenty-two and still living at home. Quentin didn't mind, said Barry could live there for however long he needed. He still wanted to move out and live on his own, but he couldn't decided whether he wanted to move back to Central, or stay in Starling.

A choice that, at eleven, he wouldn't even hesitate to make.

In the end, Barry chose to stay in Starling and work at the police department there. Quentin was relieved, and even put in a good word for him there. Working there, he got to see both Quentin and Laurel often, due to their job or internship, respectively. For the most part, Barry was content.

When Barry was twenty-three, he was stopped in his lab by someone he had never seen in there before. The person whose very name had been on his wrist since he was sixteen.

"Ollie? What are you doing here?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. The blond shifted from foot to foot, awkwardness coming off him in waves. "If you're here to distract me, just standing there is doing more than enough, I can assure you."

"Do you want to get lunch? With me," Oliver suddenly blurted, his cheeks turning pink. "Like on a date."

"Oh, um," Barry stuttered, feeling his own cheeks darken. "Here I thought you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I, um. Well I'm a lot different than I was when I was younger," Oliver admitted, sighing softly. "I was stupid, and to be quite honest, I was scared at the thought of having a male soulmate. All my life, I got it drilled into my head that regardless of who I was destined to be with, I still had to marry a nice woman and have kids with her. When I learned that you were my soulmate, I liked the thought of that so much, I end up panicking. Here you are, one of the sweetest and kindest souls I've ever met, and my mother expects me to drop you like the names on our wrists mean nothing."

"So you slept around?" Barry asked, slightly accusing. Oliver winced, but he knew he deserved it.

"I know, I know. That was such a shitty thing for me to do. Especially in front of you." Oliver looked away from Barry and let out a humorless chuckle. "I don't deserve to have you as a soulmate, Barry Allen. And, honestly, that was another reason I said what I did. Because you deserve so much better than me."

Smiling sadly, Barry shook his head. "Ollie, I had the biggest crush on you ever since I met you. I was so incredibly happy when your name appeared on my wrist. And you know why? Because I think you're an incredible guy. The simple thought that there was any possibility that I wouldn't end up with you crushed me." He walked over to the blond and gently cupped his cheek, bringing his face up to look into his eyes. "Despite what you and, quite frankly, a lot of people seem to think, you aren't a bad guy. You're a gentle soul."

"Here you are again, proving even more that I don't deserve you," Oliver whispered, putting their foreheads together.

"I should tell you, I saved all my firsts for you. It sounds so incredibly stupid saying it out loud, but I couldn't find it in myself to be with anybody who wasn't you." Barry grinned as Oliver gave him an Eskimo kiss.

"I guess we'll have to figure things out as we go," Oliver said.

"Sounds good to me."

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are much appreciated! (especially comments, i love feedback)
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](http://lovelylerman.tumblr.com)  
> [my instagram](http://instagram.com/blosshom)


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